Theresa May. The Long Island Medium. Checks all the boxes I would want for a girlfriend wife whatever.
-Unique Hair
-Mild Psychic Abilities
-Sexiest Accent On The East Coast
-Tells It Like It Is

I told my kids not to fight over this inheritance... guess I’ll be dead before that happens anyway. I am giving a wink to the camera to indicate that I will fake my own death. Am I doing this meme format right (just learned what that is)

I didn't love the joker movie? I don't think we should really be supporting that.

I think “What is skanking? I saw that phrase a lot”

So my one vice is kayaking by myself! Fucking divorce me just because I blow up an inflatable kayak, take it out to the lake once a week, and fantasize about every waitress I’ve ever encountered in my life? Cancel me just because a team of divers found my wedding ring and a couple used condoms at the bottom of the Pacific? I think that would be “cheating on” me.

Sorry for my absence! I was trying to be nice to my grandkids but those Hacks wouldn’t have any of it

Eddie Murphy’s work in the film Trading Places should of been nominated for an Oscar! He embodies the character!

Back in my day we didn’t even have a coochie book but we made do!

The Democratic Party lemmings think nothing of tearing my red hat of my hat and spitting on me, damaging my car because I have a MAGA sticker

Just been reading all your “Feral Hogs” posts! Love them! Funniest meme ever on this website! Laughing so hard!

🙄Oh it’s National Girlfriend Day?🙄

🖕FUCK my ex 🖕

🤡But not literally!🤡

-Eddie

My ex wife’s soup was like a Miles Davis album! (Read between the lines :)

I wrote this toot for a girl.

I say fuck you to my ex wife
But we don’t literally have sex
Damn it feels like a past life
And it wasn’t the best!
You know I’ve got these rhymes
But if only I, could have the time
Back I wasted...
Or at least give me back the money from our expensive engagement!

I don’t understand these words people are using to describe me. CIS? HET? LOSER? ASSHOLE? What do these things mean...

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the deep state

ok, this is epic