Pinned toot

your server will be with you in a moment. allow me to nonchalantly leave you with our wine list for your perusal...

Mufo: feel like shit today, just dont know how much longer I can take all theis stress before I have a breakdown

Me: MFr said "theis"

now that the heat has died down since our grand opening, i'm quietly going to start sincere posting here and absolutely nobody will be the wiser.

you suckers (good friends)!

you absolute rubes (beloved online buddies)!

hey, i haven't shown up to work here in a couple weeks. am i fired or what?

in a perfect world a elephant gun is a gun that shoots elephants

staying abreast of the latest music reviews by reading ,,.

mmm, yes.

i understand that someone is totally pissing their diaper on the TL this morning. just making an absolute mess. we here at Piss Restaurant urge you to only get piss from a trusted supplier.

that's why the admins on our instance surreptitiously inspect all DMs to ensure piss-quality. 💫 :pee_drops: 🔎

@maitre_d you know, it's unconventional, but i can't say the michelin stars are undeserved

our first big opening weekend! i hope nothing goes wrong, like a complete and total absence of .

aw fuck i burnt the pee sause for the spagetti

don't eat the yellow snow, the boss is watching inventory

@maitre_d rolls of miniature urinal mints are available at the register to support the local lions club

when you receive your jacket back from our coat check, reach into the pocket for a little surprise. 😉

what's the surprise? why, it's a tasty mint! yum! 🍬

what? did you think we pee in your pocket? huh? is that what you thought? we're not monsters you know. 😤

hmm? oh yeah the mint is absolutely piss flavored. yeah. 100% whizz mint. it's called branding, sweaty. :pee_drops:

I'm now Piss Restaurants social media guru. Expect to see me getting into spirited arguments with other brands, all for your entertainment!

food / piss restaurant 'tent 

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the deep state

ok, this is epic